For the past 15 years, I've been discussing college planning with many of our clients, but now that I’m living it, I have a deeper understanding of both the emotional and the financial challenges involved in getting a child to college.
This experience has without a doubt made me a better advisor.
Going through the college planning process personally has also made me more empathetic toward my son and the stresses he faces. While we were figuring out which college was the right fit for him, the pressure on him — and the pressure on us as his parents — was significant.
If you’re planning to send a kid to college, and it’s around that time for you, the financial stress adds another layer to it all.
There is no set limit to qualify for financial aid, however, if you're planning to send your child to college in the U.S. and you file taxes as “married filing jointly” and your Adjusted Gross Income (AGI) exceeds $125,000, you're essentially left out of federal need-based aid. That’s not even factoring in any merit or scholarship money, but in New England, that $125,000 threshold affects many families.
Sadly, $125,000 in household income isn’t what it used to be.
Families are increasingly challenged with questions like, “How do we pay for college?” “Should we take out personal loans? Should we fund it all upfront or pay over time?” The answer often hinges on careful planning and what each family is comfortable doing. My wife, Crista, and I have a clear vision for our approach, but it’s crucial to recognize that what works for our household may not suit another.
One of the best decisions we made was hiring someone to guide our son through the college search process.
As newcomers to the college application journey, we quickly realized that planning goes way beyond finances; it encompasses finding the right college fit. In my opinion, helping your child discover the right school is even more important than figuring out how to pay for it.
Imagine if after all the saving and investing you do for this important goal, your kid ends up at the wrong school! What a waste of time and money. No, you need to get help — the sooner the better.
For our family, this journey began by seeking guidance.
Our son’s exploration started at the beginning of his junior year with college visits, focusing on what part of the country appealed to him and the type of school he wanted: did he prefer a large university like the University of Georgia or Clemson, or a smaller, more intimate setting?
With the help of this counselor, we learned that finding a college that matched his personality was vital for a successful college experience.
During Luke’s junior year, we began visiting universities. Like everyone else, we checked online for tours and made our way to the different campuses on weekends. We often found ourselves sitting in welcoming sessions with a hundred other families.
At each school, the first question was, “How many of you are seniors?” Most hands went up. Then they’d ask, “How many are juniors?” Typically, fewer than 5% of them would raise their hands, highlighting to us how early we were starting this important process.
We explored Luke’s interests and considered his grades, the size of the schools, and their locations. By the end of his junior year, Luke had already ranked his preferred schools, visited them multiple times, requested recommendations from his references, and started drafting his essays. This preparation meant that by the summer before his senior year, he only needed to write the supplemental essays requested by some schools.
Now in his senior year, Luke has all his recommendations and applications completed. His focus is solely on submitting his applications and deciding whether to apply for "early decision" or "early action" at one of his top choices.
Our son’s number one pick is conveniently located just 15 minutes from our home. Throughout the application process, our only requirement was that he would live on campus and not at our home. Not that we didn’t want him close to us, but we wanted him to fully experience college life, even though every school he considered was within an hour and a half of our home.
Interestingly, despite his passion for sports, Luke surprised us by not wanting to attend a large university like Ohio State or Clemson. This journey has revealed so much about him, and I can't stress enough how beneficial it was to hire someone to help keep him motivated and organized. It created a much less stressful home environment for us.
As we wait to hear back from schools, many other seniors are still trying to figure out where they want to apply and what essays they need to write. Our school district, Arlington, gives seniors a day off to visit colleges. Since we’ve already completed that process, Luke can use his day off to relax and enjoy some time to himself.
I mention this not to boast, but to highlight a significant point: the public education system often doesn’t prepare students for the college application process in a way that alleviates stress for families. Many of Luke's classmates are scrambling to meet deadlines this year.
If you rely solely on the school system (public or private) to guide you through the college application process, you’ll likely end up rushing during senior year. That’s not good planning in my book.
As a parent, I want to instill not just good values but also good habits. As a planner, I believe in encouraging people to think ahead rather than leaving things to the last minute. We need to do the same for our children!
Many seniors make rushed decisions simply because they didn’t take the time to evaluate the schools that would truly benefit them. Sure, it’s essential to save and plan for college financially, but sending your child to the wrong school can reverse all that financial preparation.
So, what’s next for Luke? He’s currently ranking his choices and considering what to do if he doesn’t get into his first-choice school.
The college application landscape has changed dramatically since my time. There’s so much more competition and pressure now, which adds even more stress, and kids only have a few months to make decisions.
In contrast, our experience was more methodical and relaxed — Luke worked on his applications, visited schools, and reflected on his choices over roughly 18 months.
Financial advisors should play a bigger role in helping clients plan for their children’s futures, beyond just the financial aspects.
The bottom line is that if your child wants to attend college, it’s never too early to start discussing college planning with your financial advisor. Choose one who understands the entire picture — not just the financial aspect but also the process of getting your child into college.
An advisor should be part of both the financial conversation and the college planning dialogue.
Having gone through this process, I can now offer clients much more insightful recommendations than I could before Luke's experience. I can guide my clients on what to consider early on to make better financial decisions for themselves and educational choices for their children.
While I won’t be the one to assist with essay writing, I can connect clients with someone who can help. It’s critical to start thinking about college as more than just a financial decision, especially when there’s still time for our children to make informed choices.
I’ve learned so much about being not just a parent, but about being a better financial advisor. If I want to be at the center of my clients’ universe, I need to acknowledge the significant financial impact that college planning has on our clients and their children.
A good advisor can provide valuable recommendations based on firsthand experience, helping families navigate this important next step in life.
James Bode is Managing Partner at Beck Bode, a deliberately different wealth management firm with a unique view on investing, business, and life.