James BodeIt's been nearly a month since I dropped my son Luke off at college, a milestone that arrived faster than I ever imagined. I can't help but reflect on the journey that got us here and the costly mistakes we managed to avoid along the way.
When most parents think about college planning, they immediately focus on saving enough money. That's certainly important, but there's a critical mistake that could cost you $40,000 to $100,000 or more: rushing the college selection process itself.
A Personal Journey
Like many parents, I initially approached college planning from a purely financial perspective. How would we pay for it? Had we saved enough? What about financial aid?
But what I didn't realize until we were deep in the process was that choosing the wrong school can be even more expensive than rising tuition costs.
Many families took a different approach, having their child send application after application to numerous universities, then visit after acceptance when they have about 30 days to decide. The result? Kids often spend a year at the wrong school that maybe doesn't offer their major or isn't the right environment. That's when you waste tens of thousands of dollars having them figure things out because the process was rushed.
As a financial advisor, I've spent years helping families plan for major life events. Yet my own family's college journey taught me lessons I never anticipated.
The Timeline That Changed Everything
Our approach was different. We started by asking Luke some basic questions: How far from home did he want to go? What size school interested him? What did he potentially want to major in? These questions gave us a targeted list of schools to visit.
Then we took that list of schools and started visiting them at the beginning of Luke's junior year, a full 18 months before he'd enroll. We made sure to visit while school was in session to get a real feel for the campus environment. For schools that made his shortlist, we returned multiple times.
By the time application season arrived, Luke had the schools ranked. He knew which one he wanted to go to most, which was second, which was third, and most importantly, why he chose those schools. Every application had purpose because we'd been thoughtful from the start.
The Financial Aid Secret No One Tells You About
When Luke was accepted to his top choice school, we were thrilled until we saw they'd offered virtually no financial aid. Our college specialist suggested writing an appeals letter, something that wasn't mentioned anywhere on the university's website.
The university responded that they had an appeals process, but the letter had to come from Luke, not from me. While initially annoyed, I now recognize the valuable lesson this taught us both. Luke had to advocate for himself, taking ownership of his education from the start. Within 48 hours of his submission, additional aid was offered.
The Family Financial Conversation
Recently, Luke received his first tuition bill directly through his student portal. His reaction? "Mom and dad, what am I supposed to do with this?" This opened the door to honest conversations about how we'd saved for his education and our expectations.
What surprised me most was his next question: "Well, what about when Matthew has to go?" He wasn't just thinking about himself, but his brother's future as well. This showed me that our approach to financial transparency had cultivated not just personal responsibility, but family awareness.
We've been really open with our kids about finances and that we are saving, but they've got to have some skin in the game too to make this successful.
Why We Hired a College Specialist
As financial professionals, you might think we'd handle the entire college process ourselves. But we recognized the value of specialized expertise.
We brought in a college advisor at the end of Luke's sophomore year, and started our second son, Matthew, with the specialist during his freshman year.
Public schools try to help with the college process, but with hundreds of seniors and limited resources, their guidance counselors simply can't provide the personalized attention each student needs.
Our specialist helped us:
- Navigate the complex application landscape
- Identify schools that matched Luke's criteria
- Understand financial aid strategies, including appeals
- Stay on track with deadlines and requirements
For us, this expertise was worth the investment, especially considering the tens of thousands of dollars at stake if Luke ended up at the wrong school.
Applying These Lessons With My Younger Children
With three kids at different life stages, I'm now applying these lessons in real-time. My approach with Matthew (sophomore) is even more proactive than with Luke, and we're laying groundwork with my sixth-grade daughter years before she'll apply.
Ben Beck is going through a similar process with his son Griffin, exploring private school options. He's investigating and going through a process to find the right fit, applying many of the same principles we used for college selection, just at an earlier educational stage.
How To Avoid The $50,000 Mistake
Whether your children are approaching college age or still years away, here's my advice:
- Start the process earlier than feels necessary - Sophomore year isn't too soon
- Develop clear criteria for evaluating schools before beginning visits
- Visit campuses multiple times while school is in session
- Research the appeals process for financial aid at target schools
- Include your student in financial discussions about college costs
- Consider professional guidance if your school's resources are limited
Most importantly, remember that the goal isn't just finding a way to pay for any college—it's finding and funding the right college for your child's unique goals and learning style.
As I prepare to help Luke settle into college life, I'm grateful for the thoughtful process that led us here. The investment of time early in the process has given us confidence that he's in the right place to thrive. Academically, socially, and personally.
Frequently Asked Questions About College Planning
Q: When should we start the college planning process?
A: Ideally, start thinking about the process during your child's sophomore year of high school. This gives you enough time to visit schools during junior year and have a clear direction before senior year applications begin.
Q: Is hiring a college specialist worth the cost?
A: For our family, it absolutely was. The specialist helped us navigate the complex application landscape, identify appropriate schools, understand financial aid strategies (including appeals), and stay on track with deadlines. Consider the potential cost of a "wrong" college choice—the specialist's fee is minimal by comparison.
Q: How many schools should my child apply to?
A: Quality over quantity. Rather than applying to dozens of schools without direction, it's better to have a well-researched list of 6-10 schools that truly fit your child's criteria and where they can envision themselves thriving.
Q: What should we look for when visiting colleges?
A: Visit during the academic year when campus is active, not during summer breaks. Have your child attend a class in their potential major if possible. Talk to current students, explore the surrounding area, and try to picture your child in that environment for four years.
Q: What's the most important factor in making the final college decision?
A: There's no single most important factor in my experience. It's about finding the right overall fit for your child. Academic offerings, campus culture, location, size, and financial considerations all play important roles. The key is to have your child involved in the process so they develop a genuine sense of which environment will help them thrive.
Q: How do we approach the financial aid appeals process?
A: First, recognize that many schools have an appeals process even if it's not advertised on their website. Once your child is accepted, if the financial aid package isn't what you hoped for, have your child (not you) write a respectful letter explaining why they want to attend that school and requesting additional consideration. Be prepared to act quickly if additional aid is offered.
James Bode is Managing Partner at Beck Bode, a deliberately different wealth management firm with a unique view on investing, business, and life.
For more insights on college planning as part of a comprehensive financial strategy, contact us for a complimentary consultation or watch the full NoBondsCast episode above.